I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
