Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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