I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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