...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
