I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i came on her dog
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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