You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
