this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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