i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
