i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
