is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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