that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
