I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
