don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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