Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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