yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
