I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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