it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
