she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
