You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
