Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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