found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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