ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
