One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
