Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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