well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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