do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
