Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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