Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That accounts for only three of the penises
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
