I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
