I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
