You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
