There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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