batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
