Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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