I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
