I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
