Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
