Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
