so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
