no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
