Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
