ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
