All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
