Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
