i don't like sucking hair
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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