im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
