so explain again why im purple
no
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
