too bad you live with your parents still
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
