ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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