honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
