i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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