Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
