Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
