He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
