I think I am morally bankrupt
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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