Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
